I've been working pretty hard in the gym doing some different kind of workouts than I'm used to --- Olympic lifts, CrossFit-style met cons, and heavy barbell squats. Twice a week I'm taking a lifting class at my gym that's similar to CrossFit. I wrote about it and my awesome coach in this post. It's been a blast getting to learn from him and to train with three other strong women who give me a run for my money.
However, I know I've put on a few extra pounds of fat and muscle, and I was curious to know where I stood weight-wise. I haven't been very mindful with my diet this summer, and my occasional glass of wine has turned into a nearly nightly thing. I've been slowly adding in treats and justifying it in one way or another.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still pretty happy with how I look. I still have definition in my legs, abs, and arms. But my clothes are fitting a little too snuggly for my comfort and I just prefer to have a little more leanness. So I'm rededicating myself to cleaning up my diet to lose a few pounds of fat, improve my overall health and energy, and to boost my performance in the gym as well as recovery.
I have a BHAG (big hairy audacious goal) in mind, and it's going to take everything I have for the next 6 months to 2 years. I really have no idea how long it's going to take to achieve, or even if I can accomplish it. My stomach is doing flip-flops just thinking about it! (Aaaaahhhh! I'm not yet ready to talk about it, but I may soon.) Losing a few pounds of body fat would be an advantage.
So I stepped on the scale and saw a number I didn't recognize. It was about 6 pounds over what I expected to see. So I did what any other person would do and took off my sneakers and hat. Surely, that was part of it. ha! The scale only dropped a single pound. Whoa. I stood there, a little dumbfounded. I hadn't seen that number in years. And it was 10 pounds over where I normally preferred to be. As I stepped off the scale and put my shoes back on, I realized something.
I wasn't upset. My mood didn't immediately take a nosedive. As much as the number on the scale was far from what I wanted to see, I was able to see it as just another data point. It was merely one moment in time over a long lifespan, a blip on the radar. It wasn't going to dictate my mood for the day or ruin my workout experience.
I refuse to let that number affect me in a negative, destructive way. I'm just going to add that data to my circumference measurements and body fat percentage and use it as a baseline to track my progress over the next few months.
The scale says nothing about my ability to coach others or my knowledge. It has nothing to do with my worth or character. I would rather be known for my coaching ability and integrity and character than as the most ripped trainer ever. It's more important to me to make a difference in someone's life than to appease the trolls on the interwebz or my own ego.
I'm human, and I'm allowed to make mistakes and to take it easy every once in a while. And so are you.
It's taken years to get to this point, this realization, and it feels really good. I went through a similar realization about the cellulite on my thighs and butt last year. I wrote about it in a post here.
A weight is lifted off my shoulders and a ton of stress is gone. Ain't nobody got time for that! So I will just go do my thing, and let the aesthetic chips fall where they may.